It’s what we long for from our family, friends, God (if you believe in God) and ourselves. Not having it is one of deepest and ongoing painful experiences of living. Not having it results in all kinds of suffering, subtle and overt. This kind of suffering is under the radar for most of us. We don’t even know what we’re missing…..until we get a test of it.
Imagine feeling heard, truly heard. Imagine not having to hide anything, being able to share with who you are in a deep way and not being judged. Do you know what that feels like?
Imagine your fear, anxiety, depression, stress, cravings, self-judgement, shame, every harsh thing you might feel about yourself and things you have done. Now imagine you AND all of that being held the way a deeply loving parent, totally without judgement, holds a scared, suffering and crying child. (Note: If you can’t imagine a parent doing that, imagine God or anything or anyone that resonates with you. If that’s hard for you, really turn and sense into it with your imagination. You CAN find something that resonates.) The scared child, in this moment, just wants to be held, in a warm, safe embrace. There is absolutely no judgement coming from the parent. There is no shaming, no lecturing, no “I-told-you-so.” On the contrary, the parent has a completely open heart, fully capable or holding anything the child can bring. The parent sits there, quietly, willing to stay for as long it takes. The parent has no thought of leaving. There is no agenda, just loving, warm openness.
Have you felt this kind of connection before? You probably have, but may have forgotten it.
This kind of connection CAN handle anything. It can dissolve the most intense anxiety, depression, craving, whatever.
The good news is that it’s learnable and I can show you how to cultivate it. It’s not any kind of special magic and I’m not a guru. It’s a natural capacity we all have. For various reasons, we just don’t do it well in our culture.
That said, other people learn it all the time and I’ve dedicated a large portion of my life to helping them.